Story of a woman and her journey to becoming a cam girl
It is a story of a woman and her journey from when she decided to give up on the vital aspects of her life. Her outlook on life was to perceive it and transform herself to become one of the happiest people with a stable lifestyle. She had spent enough days telling fiction and non-fiction stories (about her past) to her grandchildren. However, somewhere down the road, she always had that feeling of a void in her!
She wanted to share her story by facing the world and screaming, "work and jobs have no judgments." She is me. I am here to share the story of my life, which I am proud of and will always be.
I am Mrs , widow of military personnel who lost his life fighting for the country. I became a widow when I was very young. I had no hopes, and the unnecessary heavy life lessons of society made me scared. I felt like people were trying to build a road for my life and forcing me to walk on it. No one wanted to know what I want, what I feel, or what I want to do moving ahead. That phrase made me miss the positive notions of life.
My young blood attracted many eyes as I was living a solitary and isolated life. Uncomfortably and fear became my daily staple. I was a very determined girl, always fascinated by challenges. I knew that turning my weakness into my strength free me from many toxicities of life. That became my motive to fight on my own.
Day by day, I got impatient to find a way to seal my fear. One fine day, an idea communed to my mind as I was sipping my tea. As human beings, we all have some physical needs which are not always easy and convenient to convey. It reminded me of the never-ending string of taboos as per our society. As the man addresses his needs, the woman fears him. It is still unacceptable for women to demand their physical needs unless their marriage. Such beliefs make physical needs a toxic gesture in case of the absence of an identity between the confronting human beings.
Moving forward, one of my friends also shared the same view as mine. The cherry on the cake was that she was closely related to an industry similar to my thoughts, The WebCam Industry. I was never aware that any such business existed. Seeing my curiosity, my friend decided to show me a glimpse of that world. It was the first step in my next phase of life, being a Cam Girl.
I still recall that day. It was evening time as I sat on my computer, and my friend guided me over the call. She taught me to open the site and sign up for my account. I gave myself a nickname, Realm. Realm signifies dimension, which was the case for me. I know the journey would take me somewhere unknown, to a newer aspect. I switched on the webcam without giving much thought about how it would go. As I was streaming live on the web, I did not disclose my identity even though I didn't plan for it. I called that incident fortunate because I received appreciation of my physical-self, without revealing my identity. It felt satisfactory somewhere. I felt good about myself after reading the comments I received from the viewers appreciating my image.
Gradually, I knew this is what I would like to commit to for a longer time. Born and raised in an educated, elite and conservative family, working as a Camgirl was never in my thought process, even if my grandpa sometimes called cheap phone sex numbers.
The profession was perfect for me to overcome my fear. For the first time, I felt free. The feeling and sense of fear and discomfort which I encountered almost daily in my life; was not there anymore. I tried to define the goodness in my profession that others were not able to see. There was confidence in my face and body when someone would approach me. I wasn't shying away like before. I would sit with him and explain the importance of Cam Girls and how it would help them enjoy life without losing their dignity and self-respect in society.
Being a part of a conservative society, you are not free to share your opinion or do something different from the line. I was rationalizing to people about the importance of Cam Girls even though I had to face a lot of criticism, but it didn't affect me. I was pleased with what I have been doing. It was a source of income for me to survive rather than living on my late husband's pension.
Gradually, I started living the life I always desired. I didn't face that humiliation while walking on roads earlier. Working as a cam girl brought up a lot of questions about my character. But that could not dilute the passion I had. I was enjoying it and was having one of the most incredible days of my life.
As days passed, I had a fair share of both the good and the bad days. I even got to make friends with a few of my loyal viewers. I started being social as I was before. The sense of insecurity that gripped my mind in the past years just flew away like it was never present. My perception that people just wanted me for pleasure gradually started to fade out. With passing days, I met new people with new insights and interests in life. I came to believe that everyone has their reasons for how they view their life.
I recollect an incident that changed my notion of extramarital affairs. Or the reason why some people prefer webcam girls. Our society tries to group people into broader sections. However, if we narrow down our search, we understand the motive behind a person's deed or choice of action. Keeping the identity of the person hidden lets me share the story.
While working as a Cam Girl, I had regular followers who were active on my account every day. One such follower was Mr A. The reason why that person caught my eye was his way of writing down the comments. Most of them were praising my physical body and their demands. But Mr A always had something more to say. Every remark of his had an element of praise for what I was doing in my life. And how brave and bold I have been to choose this as my career option. Generally, I don't reply to followers but seeing that comment made me text back.
He wrote, "I pen down this comment lying beside my wife sleeping peacefully. I am on this website to give myself a sense of satisfaction. But, every time I see you, I want to know more about you. It is not merely about physical needs but more about understanding your concept of life. I don't regret seeing your naked body or have that guilt of cheating my wife. The reason for me being here is to feel the thoughts you have been through rather than observing the body parts every woman carries. Your eyes speak a language opposite to your body."
Such a casual comment became a prized possession for me. We started talking more about philosophical views of life, and gradually he started sharing yours. It was then I realized not everyone observes a sentiment from the same angle.
Such tiny incidents were the main boosters that kept me motivated and helped me move forward in my life. And as I speak my story, these memories have formed a chain of pearls that I would cherish for a lifetime. At a point when I almost gave up hopes on love, relationships and commitment, I was lucky enough to find the man of my life again who respected my views and was not ashamed to walk together for the rest of my life.
The journey from Lakshmi to Mrs Lakshmi Arora was a roller coaster ride. I went through a lot of humiliation in the initial years of my marriage, but it was the support of my husband where I came out strong and fighting every time. I even continued to pursue my profession after I got married. Things were going great until I lost the fitness to have my child due to an unfortunate accident. In those tough times, the support of my husband and my dedication to my profession kept me going.
I was an independent woman. I never agreed on the view of relying on their husband's hard work. Seeing my headway, I felt that I was capable enough to help a person live his own life. One fine day, we got lucky. My husband and I got the approval to adopt a child.
The adoption process was not an easy road to travel. I had to prove for the 100th time that I could be a responsible parent and would not ruin the baby's future. The hard part was that my would-be daughter was from the same industry whose mother was humiliated for being a Cam Girl and lost herself in the process. Me being in the same profession was unconvincing for the authority. They had their doubts about my capabilities to be a parent. I had to keep struggling every day for two long years until I got the approval of the adoption. When a few germs in the society mocked me for adopting a child, 28 years later, my adopted child came to be the best doctor in the town.
Years after working as a Cam Girl and introducing many interested women to the field, I now live a happy and comfortable life. The feeling of helping women like me make a career and enjoy a life of happiness and growth escalated when I started receiving "thank you" letters from those women who were in a better place after working in the industry.
I knew the stigma of the few sections of society we live in, so I founded an organization where those women interested in this field can come and talk about it without having their information disclosed. My husband and I started this organization without any planning to carry it out for a longer term. But the organization helped many women give meaning to their hopeless lives. Our organization has grown bigger and successful every year and now stands strong with more than 50,000 members. As Lakshmi, my motto in life was to celebrate, no matter whatever the job is. At present, I am a respected member of the same society celebrating the remaining days of my life.
At this point of my life, where I believe I have achieved everything in life, I still get questions asking if my child is proud of who I am? How is my daughter's family coping with it? Today I can proudly say that everyone in my family is proud of what I have done and what I have achieved. I was always vocal about my career choices. I never felt the need to hide my love for my profession from my family or society. It was the only reason that has helped me ease my life and create a balance between my professional and personal life.
It is the story of how I lived my life being a Cam Girl. The name 'Cam girl' has always had an adjective attached to it since its start. People saw it as a negative trait that would harm society and the world at large. I always wanted to change those ideas of people. And I knew well that the battle was not an easy and small one. I had to fight it anyway, and I am still on it. I heard people saying Cam Girl industries ruin the lives of people in the most disastrous ways. But, I am the living example of how it helped me shape my life.